Grievous

Photo By: MadamChryzl “Vermillionville”

Grievous people do even more grievous things…

In the world with ebony skies the raven sings…

“O Hark, light escapes and the darkness trails my wings.”

Desperate people do desperate things…

There is no measure for sorrow or of how a scorned thorn stings…

Silence can sing…

Defense is King…

Grievously desperate people do grievously desperate things… Madamchryzl

My Favorite Chair

Photo By: MadamChryzl
(Custom Tattoos by Andy-Hill Country Texas)

This is my favorite chair…

I love it so much I can feel my endorphins flare…

I am welcomed to sit or lay… But I choose to fly…

I gaze upon and sigh…

It’s intentions are written in ink, on my skin…

The sounds and vibrations hold tales of sin..

Markings of color and black…

Pain and pleasure the two continue to stack…

To such great heights, my nerve endings ascend.

There is no way to falsify or pretend… I love the magic that takes place from beginning to end…

Laying in vulnerable state, my trust is garnished and served on a plate…

Lines are curved, waves are straight… Dreams are dreamt and the past is fate…

Wrongs become right… Imagination becomes sight…

In this chair, my darkness becomes light, and in this chair my demons lose every fight…

Alteration of my being, inner visions become seeing…

No other place can pain become so freeing…

My Mawmaw… (arguably one of the most kick ass Southern women till the day she passed) would say:

“Baby girl, fix ya problems… Ain’t NO ONE else gunna do it forya.  Life is hard and it won’t get any easier… So get use to it, sha.”

Miss you Mawmaw… I miss you lots…

MadamChryzl-

Jester Of Hearts

My Heart is quite a fool… She is a continuous embarrassment of mine…

Although, she is quite punctual and hurts me all the time…

For over three decades she has deceived and mislead…

And a

All that I hear are hurtful laughs from my head…

“HA!

As if!”

“HA!

Get a grip!”

No need of convincing, I am a fool from tip to tip…

A toy amongst the tongues of silver and gold…

Never have I imagined hearts of ice could be this cold….

My heart hates me and I do not possess a single doubt…

Still, she remains a part of me that I just can not live with out…

Unwillingly, a Jester is what I shall remain…… She chose to stay with you; she is something only you contain. -Madamchryzl-

Cheers… “Sumnabitch”… This video reminds me of the movie Cry Baby… One of my child-ish hood faves. 🥰

I’m gonna need someone to help me
I’m gonna need somebody’s hand
I’m gonna need someone to hold me down
I’m gonna need someone to care
I’m gonna writhe and shake my body
I’ll start pulling out my hair
I’m going to cover myself with
The ashes of you and nobody’s gonna give a damnSon of a bitch
Give me a drink
One more night
This can’t be me
Son of a bitch
If I can’t get clean
I’m gonna drink my life away

Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh oh oh ohNow for seventeen years I’ve been throwing them back
Seventeen more will bury me
Can somebody please just tie me down
Or somebody give me a goddamn drink

Son of a bitch
Give me a drink
One more night
This can’t be me
Son of a bitch
If I can’t get clean
I’m gonna drink my life away

Mhm, mhm
Mhm, mhm, mhm, mhm
Mhm, mhm
Mhm, mhm, mhm, mhmMy heart was breaking, hands are shaking, bugs are crawling all over me
My heart was breaking, hands are shaking, bugs are crawling all over me
My heart was breaking, hands are shaking, bugs are crawling all over me
My heart was breaking, hands are shaking, bugs are crawling all over meSon of a bitch
Give me a drink
One more night
This can’t be me
Son of a bitch
If I can’t get clean
I’m gonna drink my life away

Son of a bitch
Give me a drink
Son of a bitch
This can’t be me
Son of a bitch
If I can’t get clean
I’m gonna drink my life awayOh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh oh oh ohOh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh

https://youtu.be/1iAYhQsQhSY

This one might not be for some of my pals on here… But if you are ever on a daytime rendezvous in Cajun Country and have your windows down… and you are maybe searching for a way to create new nerve endings… Keep your boundaries but maybe make one small part of them expandable… They are still there, chill the fuck out. Love you.. XOXO MADAMCHRYZL

Well, he just drove off, sometimes life’s okay
I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh, what did I say?
Well, you just laughed it off and it was all okayAnd we’ll all float on, okay
And we’ll all float on, okay
And we’ll all float on, okay
And we’ll all float on anyway, wellA fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam
It was worth it just to learn some sleight of hand
Bad news comes, don’t you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on exactly the same day
Well, we’ll float on, good news is on the wayAnd we’ll all float on, okay
And we’ll all float on, okay
And we’ll all float on, okay
And we’ll all float on, alrightAlready, we’ll all float on
No, don’t you worry, we’ll all float on, alright
Already, we’ll all float on, alright
Don’t worry, we’ll all float onAlright, already
And we’ll all float on, alright
Already, we’ll all float on, alright
Don’t worry, even if things end up a bit
Too heavy, we’ll all float on, alrightAlready, we’ll all float on alright
Already, we’ll all float on, okay
Don’t worry, even if things get heavy
We’ll all float on, alrightAlready, we’ll all float on (alright)
No, don’t you worry, we’ll all float on (alright)
We’ll all float on

This one might be familiar to some of you Breaking Bad Fans. “My darkness shining…”🖤

TruthThe truth is that I never shook my shadow
And every day it’s trying to trick me into doing battle
Calling out “faker” only get me rattled
Want to pull me back behind the fence with the cattle
Building your lenses
Digging your trenches
Put me on the front line
Leave me with a dumb mind
With no defenses
But your defenseless
If you can’t stand to feel the pain then you are senselessSince this
I’ve grown up some
Different kind of fighter
And when the darkness come let it inside you
Your darkness is shining
My darkness is shining
Have faith in myself
TruthI’ve seen a million numbered doors on the horizon
Now which is the future you choosin’ before you gone dying?
I’ll tell you ’bout a secret I’ve been undermining
Every little lie in this world come from dividing
Say you’re my lover, say you’re my homie
Tilt my chin back, slit my throat, take a bath in my blood, get to know me
All out of my secrets
All my enemies are turning into my teachers
Because, lights blinding, no way dividing what’s yours or mine when everything’s shining
You darkness is shining, my darkness is shining
Have faith in ourselves
TruthYes, I’m only loving, only trying to only love
That’s what I’m trying to do is only loving
Yes, I’m only loving, trying only loving, I swear to God
I’m only trying to do the loving
Yes, I’m only lonely, I’ve been missing all my feeling
Only loving, only loving
You say it ain’t loving ain’t loving my loving my loving
But I’m only loving, swear only loving, swear to God I’m only loving
Trying only loving, only loving, only loving, only loving, only loving
Yes, I’m only loving, swear only loving, swear to God I’m only loving, only loving
See, I’m only loving, loving, loving, loving, loving my love
But I’m only loving, loving, loving, loving the truth Truth

I will never get back the person that I once was…

I know now that I am someone that you never really loved…

In your world I can see that I never really did exist…

I wasn’t even a shadow of any real bliss…

I weep and I cry…

And I just pray for painful beats of my heart to die…

My world without you; not a singular bird can fly…

Even the, once beautiful, eagles cry…

In your absence, even their majesty is a lie…

Your words linger like heavy lead…

Consistently replaying sweet words in my head…

Gullible was I, to believe the what I was fed…

“I want this forever…” you said with a stutter…

“I love you…” you said with a winded flutter…

My ears and my heart can not erase them…

Nor can your lips un-say them…

Only God can set me free now that you pretend to no longer know me…

I’ve always been a “Maybe” sort of person… so in spirit of that… I have my FAVORITE Janis Joplin song… There are so many good ones to choose from… But today this one is my favorite. I can never NOT get chills every single time I hear it. ENJOY.

MAYBE BY JANIS JOPLIN

Maybe…
Oh, if I could pray, and I try, dear,
You might come back home, home to me.

Maybe
Whoa, if I could ever hold your little hand
Ooh, you might understand.
Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe… yeah

Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, dear,
I guess I might have done something wrong,
Honey, I’d be glad to admit it
Ooh, come on home to me!
Honey, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe… yeah

Well, I know that it just doesn’t ever seem to matter, babe,
Ooh, honey, when I go out or what I’m trying to do,
Can’t you see I’m still left here
And I’m all alone in needing you

Please, please, please, please,
Oh, won’t you reconsider, babe,
Now come on, I said come back,
Won’t you come back to me!

Maybe, dear, oh maybe, maybe, maybe,
Let me help you show me how.
Honey, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe,
Maybe, maybe, maybe, yeah,
Maybe, maybe, maybe, yeah.
Ooh!

https://youtu.be/zad3bDnjsII

I had a friend that recently suggested that “I should believe people when they show me who they really are…. “

I should, but my heart and head has very rarely been on the same page… Even though I always end up heartbroken, I still do this.

This has to be a type of insanity. Has to be.

I told myself that I’d have nothing to say today.

But here they turn, the moment I wake, with no delay…

O Angst and O Nausea, you seem to be a fine friend of mine.

O Weary and O heavy, you must find me devine.

We compliment each other quite well; no on can tell.

That we both volunteer in each other’s prison cell.

Perhaps a call back home or call from home would release the pressure?

But then it’s morning, and I realize I’m safely tucked away in my forgotten treasure.

Hey Jude

I thought I felt you today…

You should have said “goodbye” when you chose not to stay…

Close enough for you to slip away…

As sure it was the day…

You left me holding this golden box of dismay…

I thought I felt you today…

As if only air, space, and time stood in our way…

O how the vultures circle…

O why it could not be simple…

O HOW we dream of a miracle…

O why it could not be simple…

God, couldn’t give in a little?

No kiss left… Nothing left for the middle.

Cheers to you, for those with power.

Cheers to you, whom which cower!

Cheers to you who reach tall towers.

Cheers to you that holds taste, such sour!

You hold your glory with such strength. Little do you know, how little it means.

And such follows, your demons.

Cheers! To, how little you know what anything means.

Cheers, to how little you actually see.

DO you really think that any part of you is free?

Do you think you ever opened yourself up, to what you could be?

Cheers, to My Sweet Loving Bunny.

Lines and cuts

Smooth and jagged

Form it all the way you’d have it

Metal and wood

Seamless and ending

There’s no where else to go, there’s no pretending

I belong in this unorthodox box

May Day

Sunken is my heart amongst the wreckage.

Hope went the fastest; and she lies with in the muck next to me.

Peaceful are the sounds beneath the surface, silence entered and prayer escaped along with the tiny bubbles.

Chilly are the nights and warm are the days, and the image of you will soon fade.

Dark are hours, always.

Circumstance is no one’s victim.

Situation sits the way you fix them.

Pain cried the wren.

“Whoa, is me!” Cries the men.

Stare

His stare held a wish for death near and close.

His body tense and rigid, to the tips of his toes.

Breathing so shallow, so meek. Not an ounce of energy left to wallow.

Life to his left, wife to his right.

Mundane sat before him positioned perfectly on his plate.

Questioning how this serving of life was part of his fate.

Utensils spread in a neat row…

His shadow, the only one who will ever know.

A numbingly familiar touch, a smile, and a sound snaps him back to the ground.

As if he didn’t wish for darkness, he smiles and orders another round.

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